I love how you think everything I write is true
I love how make guys love or hate you
I love how you’ll think those lines were jabs
I love how you keep everything I say like tabs
I love how I love you enough to just be your friend
I love how I love you enough to keep trying again
I love how your hair is blond and your eyes are blue
I love how everything about you still feels new
I love how you leave when you get too attached or scared
I love how you even though you left you always cared
I love how Type A and conservative you are
I love how our arguments never leave a scar
I love how much I love you
And I love how you’ll question rather or not that’s true

If you know me you know a lot of baggage comes with me
And if you really know me you know I use the word “love” sparingly
Don’t mistake the meaning, I promise it’s not what you think
Get it confused and I’ll be gone the next time you blink
I need another drink, make it tall and make it wine
Make her blonde, make her boujee, and make her fine
I’m done with all the Nadia’s and Katie’s aka the brunettes
I’m done with all the experiences I’ll always wish I could forget
But knowing me I’ll never quit, it’s like I like the pain
It’s like I like drinking every night just to stay sane

It’s a couple of weeks in and things are getting confusing
I don’t think I’ll ever understand the girls I keep choosing
My heart is bruising, breaking and turning cold
It can’t be healthy to be this young and feel this old
Sipping on a glass of Pinot to forget all the debts I owe
Is it just the alcohol talking or is it the truth, I’m too far gone to know
I remember when every thing was so simple and easy
Back when I was the king and my demons couldn’t read me
It was the best of times I would soon find out
Nowadays it’s just Moscato and Sangria to numb all the doubt
Trying my best to cope with such a sudden fall from grace
Lord knows I can’t wait for the day I can finally see His face

I know your heart is hurtin’
You say you workin’
But you be lurkin’
You creepin’
I see you peekin’
I caught you sleepin’
Believe this
I know you need this
I know you’ll read this

Having lunch at Kona Grill, I really hope you’re not the next Steph
I hope when it’s all said and done our friendship is left
Bottles of Pinot Grigio for all the stress and pain
Confessions to you about past hurt and why I feel like I’m going insane
I remember when you had a thing for me and I thought you were the best ever
We used text all the time, I was always so flirtatious and clever
But something always happened, something always went wrong
You’d disappear and I’d be left trying to act like I was strong
I never understood it but now I know
Now I know despite everything I can’t let you go
Friends to the bitter end, I’m your ride or die
I just ask that you don’t hold back, that you try
I know I’m not the best looking or one with a lot of money
But you inspire me, you push me to be the best me
The potential I don’t see in myself but you see in me
The only person that makes me feel like I’m truly free

I’ll let you in on a little secret about me
I’ll show you something no else can see
When I was a younger I saw shadows in the dark
I was never the type of kid to go to the to park
The devil pursued me and gave me dreams
He made believe nothing is as it seems
Now I know things I shouldn’t know, I know the truth
I know the reason behind everything I went through as a youth
How many nights will I spend alone
How many places will my heart call home
I thought I had a destiny, I thought I had purpose
I never thought I’d turn out to be so worthless
But here I am without you or them
Here I am with mortality as my biggest problem
What if I told you I was dying, what I was actually trying
Trying to be the best friend I could, trying to ask for forgiveness without crying
I don’t deserve them, her or you
But I honestly don’t know what else to do
I’ve lost everything, I don’t have a future
All I have is regret and the memories of who we were