A

 

I pour out my heart and you don’t respond
You preach being different as you dye your hair blonde
Just another entitled white girl with an attitude
Calling everyone who calls you out on it rude
Always claiming to be too tired or busy
As if you work full-time and have a family
Crying ‘cause the love of your life said you weren’t the one
Curious to know what more you could’ve done
Yet somehow you still find the time to be cocky
It’s amazing honestly
Working out in hopes of being chose again
Quoting scripture like you’re a real Christian
Suffering from insecurities and unforgiveness
You should probably practice praying more and going out less
As well as actually acting this Christ you keep talking about
And you wonder why people never hesitate to leave or call you out

Advertisements

Friend Girls

 

Amanda quoting scripture like she’s a real Christian
Sydnee sending out selfies again
Ashlei posting pictures she should only show her man
The things pretty girls will do just because they can
Officially done with Mari and her insecurities
It’s nothing personal I just don’t have the patience
Done with all the lies and immaturity
As well as the sensitivity and lack of common sense
Ryn still offended by a poem she read
I could clarify but I think I’ll let her stay mad instead
Erika told me she’s already dating someone
Making me question rather or not I’ll ever find the one
Taylor claiming she’s a good friend
The same girl who got a boyfriend and never talked to us again
And people wonder why I prefer older women

How I became a poet

 

Writing about everything from opinions to the truth
Mike saying He doesn’t remember me being like this in our youth
But a lot of things have changed since then
Nowadays the Lord is the only one I call friend
It all started in English class freshmen year
The teacher had us reading the Odyssey
A story worded in a way none of us wanted to hear
I remember saying to myself, “This can’t be poetry”
When we finished she gave us a poetry assignment
I wrote a poem about what I thought life really meant
She said it was the best thing she’d read in a while
I wasn’t surprised but for some reason it still made me smile
The summer of sophomore year my first ex came on the scene
Convinced she was the love of my life she became the focus
Telling my friends, “This is what unconditional love means”
Two years later she told me she was done with us
Unable to go to the military, my plan A
I was forced to take the academic way
Class after class at a community college in Arkansas
A life I never wanted was the only thing I saw
Writing poems about being heartbroken and hopeless
Then there was my second ex and her family
The perfect girl when you took out all the nonsense and stress
Or so I thought until she left me
I was nineteen and she was twenty-two
A grown woman who still did everything her parents told her to
On top of that my mom’s fourth husband couldn’t stop drinking
Some rum and Coke and he’d yell everything he was thinking
I couldn’t take it anymore; I had to make a decision
I relocated to Arizona and took every pill in my prescription
Thirty something pills later and I was on my way to the ER
Who knew the Pearly Gates were so far
In and out conscientiousness for a week
My ex blowing up my phone wondering if I made it
My mom’s husband finally sober enough to speak
Knowing he probably drank more than he was willing to admit
Flash forward to my first time in Houston
What I’d do to live that first semester at U of H again
Three semesters and I start to realize a lot Caucasians are racists
Denying the claims with awkward smiles on their faces
I moved back to San Antonio thinking things would be different
A semester at UTSA trying to find a way to pay rent
I was desperate for any type of love and happiness
Asking God about His plans for my life
Reading the bible and going out less
Daydreaming about what’d be like to have a lot of money and a wife
Back to the hospital for surgery on my ear
It’s still healing but at least I can hear
I spent a couple of months in Austin after that
Thinking about Houston and how to get back
Roaming around the city perfecting my second art
My camera producing the best pictures you’ve ever seen
Still writing poems about from the heart
My brother talking about being society and what life means
Another kid obsessed with attractive women and money
But I had a bigger vision; that no longer appealed to me
Sending my work off, determined to bring poetry back
Your next order of Shakespeare with a side of black

Us Today

 

My dad told me to pray for my little sister today
Said she’s having hard time finding her way
Identity crisis and insecurities at fifteen
Because nowadays physical appearance is what real beauty means
My brother apathetic towards everyone but himself
He got hurt once and said never again
Treating girls like trophies on a shelf
Because some girl acted like she wanted to be more than friends
Ignorant girls giving good guys honorable mentions
Pretty girls doing anything for likes and attention
Bad guys addicting to cheating and going to the gym
Making good girls feel like they’re not good enough for them
Needless to say I’m losing faith in my generation
Listening to problems no ones willing to fix
Catering to every little feeling and over exaggeration
All while trying explain how closed minds and change don’t mix

Beauty Beyond Bones

 

When gloom surrounded you He said your name
When you sat in darkness He called to you
He took you by the hand and led you to the Light
Proving His love and concern for you was true

Yes, at just the right moment He saved you
At just the right time the Lord appeared
Giving you healing, compassion and good news
A testimony of how your suffering disappeared

God claimed you as one of His own
He refused to let His child fade away
He would not let your beauty be taken from you
In His glory your troubles could not stay

And look, now you are free
A bright light that shines for others
A true woman of God to our sisters
And a real servant of the Lord to our brothers

Things on my mind

 

Convinced the devil is after me
Convinced greatness is tied to my destiny
Thoughts making me question and second-guess
Trying my best to be at peace and worry less
Praying for power, love and a sound mind
While daydreaming about what it’s like Heaven
Sincerely hoping there’s still hope for mankind
Wishing for it every eleven-eleven
Still trying to get over my little crush on Sydnee
Still trying figure out what’s going on with Mari
Hungout with Stephanie the other day
The only one who didn’t change when feelings got in the way
Said she’s been working out and letting her hair grow
Little does she know she’s perfect as she is
Little does she know how little she knows
Society telling women they have to look like that and do this
Politicians oppressing the less fortunate and staring wars
Keeping us distracted with celebrities and final scores
Athletes shooting for life while soldiers shoot to survive
I pray for day we promote peace instead of keep our agendas alive

When I pray

 

Told the Lord I wanted people to see Him in me
But if I mess along the way to please forgive me
My thoughts always reminding me of my mistakes
But I’m determined to do whatever it takes
The road to perfection long and impossible
The Holy Spirit telling me to keep trying
Saying through Him all things are possible
All I need to do is believe He’s not lying
Begging God for more faith and grace
Waiting patiently for the day I finally get to see His face
Desperate to see His goodness and power
Lord knows we needs it these last days and hour