“I know, I know”

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I know I use too much foul language
I know my love is hard to gauge
I know I always seem to worsen
I know I’m much nicer in person
I know I’m probably the greatest
Well maybe not the greatest but definitely the latest
I know I need the Holy One Above
I know I’m not used to receiving love
I know I need grace and mercy
I know I’ve been suicidal lately
I know you only say you’re friend
Which is one of the reasons why I feel it’s the end

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If I die tomorrow

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If I die tomorrow tell Mari and Steph to go fuck themselves
If I die tomorrow tell Michelle she’s beautiful and to love herself
Tell my mom it’s okay and not to cry
Tell my cousins shit happens and not think about why
And for all the people that try to blame me
Ask them where they’ve been lately
Ask them about the person they dubbed the next Ye
Ask them if they were ever the reason why I had a bad day
Question all the ones that act shifty
Make them tell you where they were when they supposed to be there me

Emphasis on “real”

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I know you Christians ain’t saints
I know you friends ain’t real
I know you lovers don’t love
I know you sinners are chill

Including people Steph into the prayers I pray
Despite the fact she didn’t fight for me the other day
Convinced people like her don’t really pray for me
Convinced I was better off with Michelle or Melanie

Now love feels like a myth instead of something you feel
Now commitment feels less like an understanding and more like a deal
All my dreams interrupted and turned into nightmares
Lord please save me, don’t let this reality be real

The Joke

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All hail the biggest failure of all time
All hail the one person never on your mind
Karma’s back and looking better than ever
Always there for me when I fall, it’s like we’re together
Making all my consequences convenient and possible
Nowadays getting with anything is damn near impossible
The poster child for the one guy who didn’t turn out so well
God’s vengeance or just the Devil acting out
It’s getting harder to tell
I know I deserve this but so many deserve worse
So why I do feel like the only saint under a curse
Subject to part time jobs and class I hate
And here I thought I was chosen to be great
Praying it’s not too late and it’s all just a bad joke
Hoping to God this is reality is just my imagination doing the most

“I got your back”

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Wake up, it’s back to reality
It’s back to nine to five and a degree
It’s back to only Jesus is free
It’s back to hating life and being me

The weeks turn to days and countdown
I don’t know how much longer I’ll be around
Waiting for God to save me or do something
I just need one thing

Anything but everything I hold inside
Anything but this pain in my side
Holding on to friends too quick to let go
Forcing me to question what I believe and know

What I wouldn’t do for someone who’ll fight
Fight for me even when I’m the furthest from right
Fight for our friendship even when we’re not friends
Fight for a bond that lasts till we both come to an end

Feel Inspired

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I feel like this life isn’t worth it
I feel like I’m supposed to be perfect
I feel like God is taking too long
I feel like I’m always wrong
I feel like my luck doesn’t shift
I feel like I’m wasting my gift
I feel like I should write about politics
I feel like maybe then my poems will stick
I feel like I’ll always be broke
I feel like you think I’m a fraud and a joke
I feel like these white people don’t feel
I feel like I’m tired of ramen being a meal
I feel like system don’t help me
I feel like it helps everyone except me
I feel like only two people will read this
But I feel like my generation will need this

“We cool” 2

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Feeding me BS treating me different because I’m black
But the Lord said, “I will take revenge, I will pay them back”
So I leave it to Him and say good luck with that
Yeah, be artificial, spread the word and tell them I said that
Put quotations on it, quote me on it, make sure it’s fact
At this point it’s too late for either one of us to take it back
Just another modern day “Christian”
Another Pharisee that doesn’t know how to be real or a friend
But again, I wish you the best and good luck with that
You’re not who you say you are or worth the time and that’s a fact