Beauty Beyond This

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I’ve been hurt a lot
But I’ve thought about you a lot
Pretending to be someone I’m not
Always acting like I forgot
Suffering from unforgiveness
I know it’s just business
The Lord as our witness
I know that’s artificial kindness
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate you
I appreciate all the things you do
I love how you don’t let negativity get to you
I love how you saw your recovery through
But then I realized you were just pretending
And you didn’t really care about me
That really hurt
I mean I wrote about you
I mean everything I said was true
I really thought you were amazing
I really thought I was dreaming
For once I thought someone was worth believing
But I was wrong
I guess I’m not that strong
I guess it’s just been too long
Since I’ve had to say so long

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Althea Pt.4

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On FaceTime like take your clothes off
I’m just trying to get you off
You say you don’t do that
I say yeah right and cough
23 and single
I know you mingle
Don’t lie to me
How do you feel, honestly
How do you like being free
A grown woman foreal
You always keep it so real
You don’t care how these other guys feel
Working a nine to five
You’re just trying to survive
Praying for the day you finally arrive
You just wanna feel alive

Althea Pt.3

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I only text you when it’s late
I hope it’s not too late
I’ve been drinking everything straight
It’s Valentine’s Fall, check the date
Twenty-ten September to December
Do you remember
We were young and dumb
We were just having fun
I honestly thought you were the one
But what’s done is done
But now you’re back
Now my heart is dressed in black
Now there’s somethings you wish you could take
Now you’re wondering where my love is at

Althea Pt.2

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I’ve been writing about us
I’ve been thinking you’re someone I can trust
I’ve been living dangerous
A bottle of wine to the head
Overanalyzing the text I just read
I don’t know how to take what you said
She loves me, she loves me not
But I don’t believe in love in case you forgot
Zoning out to The Weeknd and PND
Thursday and Her Way
I’ve had a long day
Please remember me when you pray

Waste of Time

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Got a couple of friends still on some otherness
Got a couple of exes still not worth my forgiveness
Truth be told none of them are
Truth be told I still have the scar
And you wonder why I don’t believe in love
And you wonder why I can never drink enough
I’m not the same Chris you’re thinking of
Told you when I saw you I’m not patient
Told you I still cared and I hate it
Now I regret it
Now I’ll never forget it
I know you don’t care how much I meant it
You know I was drunk when I sent it
Being as nice and generic as you can
The type of stuff you know I can’t stand
I mean you act like this was planned
You think I like have feelings for a girl I can’t stand

You don’t care

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No response, it’s been four days
Regretting giving you all that attention and praise
No one’s that busy, I know your ways
The type to see you in person and act like it’s all good
I honestly wish you would
Always treated you the best I could
Always heard your requests and said I would
Just another white girl
Just another girl trying to see the world
I’m so glad I make you mad
Listening to stories about your ex
It’s so sad but I was probably the best you’ve ever had

The Fool

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I know you’re talking to someone else
Heart empty like that bottle on the shelf
I blame myself
I never shouldn’t have trusted you
I never shouldn’t have opened up to you
I should’nt have forgiven all the stuff you used to do
It sounds bad but you know it’s true
Just another reason to drink
Drinking till I’m too faded to think
You were here and gone with a blink
“I don’t care what you think”
I should’ve listened to them
I took you back on a whim
And this whole time I thought it was me
When you were the problem