When Unrealistic

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Daydreaming about M4s and lottery money
My mind feels like a C4, I don’t know what I’m still holding on for
Maybe it’s money, maybe it’s a white girl that’ll call honey
You think I’m being funny but I don’t how much more I can take
I don’t know if I have any kindness left to fake
I just wanna be better, I just wanna be sober
On the other hand I just want this life to be over
A victim of myself and the white man’s system
But I’m no better than them
Stressing over things I can’t even afford to lease
Me filling the tub and cutting my wrists is just me looking for peace

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Wants and Don’ts

Comp 1

I don’t wanna talk to anyone
I wanna close my eyes and be done
I don’t to be “the one”
I wanna be happy and fun
I don’t wanna broke anymore
I wanna be someone my enemies adore
I don’t wanna be too drunk to remember
I wanna find someone to live for
I don’t wanna be the one always having to apologize
I wanna see happiness and love with I look in your eyes

My Lord, My God

comp-1

I pour out my despair to God
What is my vision and purpose
Why God do I feel so worthless
Who can redeem and save me now
Who has the power and knows how

Only you my Lord, Kings of kings
Lord of lords, Creator of everything
Yes, only my Lord can save me now
Only He has the power and knows how

The Fallen

comp-2

I don’t really know what you were expecting from me
I don’t know who told you there was something to see
But I’m nothing, no one, no more
Question all you want but I have proof so I’m pretty sure
I’m all the rage without a purpose
I’m the definition of a failed mission and worthless
I don’t know when I’ll be redeemed
I don’t know if I’ll ever see anything I wanted or dreamed
But I have feeling it’s not all over yet
I have a feeling I’ll soon be someone you’ll never forget

Signs

comp-3-3

What’s all the rage, please stop checking my page
All that “trying” you say you’re doing looks staged
It looks like you don’t mean what you say or say what you mean
It looks like I can’t trust you with anything
You don’t respond but see every post
You wait till I get attached and then go ghost
I know how you are, I know your ways
I know I’d rather you just stay away
You win, I admit you got me good
I did what I could instead of what I should
How does it feel, are you happy now
It’s coming back around I just don’t know how
I hope it was worth it, I wish you the best
I hope Karma is nice and you stay blessed

Hypothetically Speaking

comp-3-3

If I tell you the truth about me will you stay
If things turn for the worst will still give me the time of day
Will you believe them or try to see my side
Can I trust you to trust who I am on the inside
Would I have a better chance with you if I was rich
Do I have to convince you to love me, do I need a pitch
Is true love to you true love or is it just business
What happens if your financial standards come up nonexistent or less
What happens when the valleys turn into lows
How do you deal with struggles you don’t want anyone else to know
Do you bail or post bail
Do you keep your loyalty or panic and tell
Will you encourage the twelve steps and go to counseling
Or forget about your vows and hand me back your ring

My Way Out

comp-2-2

I’m tired of playing the victim in this fight
I’m tired of being the furthest from alright
I’m tired of being the asshole that always has to be right
I’ll confess all my sins, I’m not the best person
I just pray I can get His help before my condition worsens
But maybe that’s why I’m at rock bottom
Maybe that’s the point
Maybe I should starting looking in the mirror before I point
Maybe I can still be great before it’s too late
Maybe all it takes is letting love and letting go of hate