To My Theresa

On days like this or in times like these I wish to go back seven years

Back to when she almost killed me, my darkness, and my tears

I apologize, I’ll never know why I use so many words

Or why my greatest efforts are like seeds stolen by birds

I often daydream about the day I can call myself free

Or about some other life where you’re not too good for me

For just one night or time I wish was your heart was mine too keep

Laying in your arms, or for me, finally finding sleep

That being said, I hate how I always say the things I shouldn’t say

I hate how even the kindest of hearts regret giving me a moment of their day

I hate how my worth is lower than anyone would dream to guess

I hate how living is something I would love to do much less

This whole time I’ve been trying to get back to where I should’ve died

Not realizing I’ve made it to the Hell where the dead like me reside

But perhaps one glorious day I’ll digress to who I was

And on a whim I’ll find my end for many reasons or just because