“I’m here”

My heart is numb and my conscience is dead
To be honest all I want is a drink and some good head
This week has been everything but good
I’m not alright, I just want it all to be over for good
Like the little engine that could, I’ve been doing nothing but trying
But what’s the point when all these girls are determined to keep lying
I’m starting to wonder if anyone out there is a ride or die
I’m tired of broken promises about how this time they’ll try
From the white girls to the queens
Not a single one of them ever say what they mean
Meanwhile, I’m facing time for a charge last fall
Back when I just wanted to die and risk it all
I just wanna know who’ll be there for me when things get dark
I just want the girl who’ll be the light instead of the spark
But it’s lookin’ like I’ll be alone till the end
It looks like all I have is myself and those pretending to my friend