Am I Still Saved

God, do you have a few minutes for me
I know you like it when we speak honestly
I’m sure You’ve heard that I’m the furthest thing from perfect
But do You still love me, do You still think I’m worth it
Am I still covered by the blood or am I on my way to Hell
Everybody is preaching something different so it’s hard to tell
Not to mention I can’t really hear Your voice anymore
Sometimes I just wish I could go back to how things were
Back when I read Your word and talked to You every day
Back before I picked up the bottle and lost my way
Now I’m living paycheck to paycheck with no healthcare
Working all night just to come home to a beer and a chair
Smoking for the stress and drinking to just go to sleep
Every day feels like midnight, the darkness is deep
I’m afraid for my soul and I don’t know what to do
Please just tell me if I don’t wake up tomorrow I’ll be with You
I know I haven’t been the most righteous or holy
But please tell me there’s still some grace left for me
Please tell me You understand how I ended up this way
Please just tell me You’ll have mercy on me after my last day